Sunday, 10 January 2010

Pornography

Now, don't get scared by the title of this post. I'll try and keep it as clean as possible.

In all honesty, I never watch porn, never never never ever. The first time I saw some porn scarred me and I steered well clear of it ever since, up til recently.

When I was round about 13/14 and at Boarding school, during the two hours after school and before dinner when we had "free time" I went for a walk from my boarding house (Hood) to the boys boarding house (Hawke) to visit my brother. I don't recall the reason for the visit, perhaps it was to deliver a message from the parents, or just to see how he was getting along, or just something to do. I was very innocent at this age, bear in mind please.

I arrive and wait in the hallway for a someone from my brothers year to walk through so I can ask them to go upstairs and tell my brother I was there. (That's how things were done in boarding school, girls aren't allowed upstairs in boys houses) No one came so I summoned up the courage to walk into the "dayroom," (sitting room style place full of uncomfy chairs and a vintage TV, and boys.) Luckily a boy from my brothers year was sitting on a chair on his own at the back, with a laptop on his lap. I knew the guy so I went over to ask him to get my bro downstairs for me. Unfortunately when I walked up behind him I saw what was on the screen of the laptop!! At first I didn't know what it was, however I soon realised that this was two people having sex, totally naked!!! I had never seen porn before so I blushed and screamed. I also knew that this was definitely against the school rules, and that no one could make fun of me if they didn't want their laptop confiscated. All the boys thought it was hilarious, my brother included, and that was my first at last porno viewing for many years.

So let us fast forward to the present day. A guy I've been texting had been mentioning that he was watching porn when I asked him what he was up to, and I replied something along the lines of well, I've never watched porn before (bar the boarding school glimpse) and his response was pure disbelief. I decided then, that it was time to see what all the fuss was about.

Someone told me once before that the internet is 90% porno material, so i figured it would be easy to find something, and before long I was at pornhub.com with a good friend of mine in tow to watch a few videos.

From what I watched here is what I can deduce about them:

All the girls have -
-the same style "down there" (totally shaved apart from a vertical strip above where the top of their vag starts)
- long nails, and ALL of them have french manicures
- Navel piercings
-Bleached bum holes
-Long hair
- Faces that would be deemed unnattractive if it wasn't for the rest of the body and layers of foundation
- Fake boobs (mostly really badly done, in my opinion not sexy fake boobs)

And all the guys have

- SCARILY large penises.

Now, none of the above characterists turn me on.

So why do people watch it? It didn't do much for me, it was entertaining to go "urgh look at that," but in a "lol" way, rather than a sexual way, if you know what I mean. There was one video in particular where the girl looked really scared and when she glanced into the camera there was a severe look of fear in her face. The only emotion this evoked from me was sympathy, it did not make me horny.

The videos that kind of had a storyline to them were better, there was one with a girl and her personal trainer that started of clean, they just did some excercise reps, and then afterwards she started giving him a blow job. Whilst she was doing this she started counting, which did make me laugh (like he was doing to her whilst she was working her abs lol)

However, the videos get long, and I didn't find them pleasureable. After a while with one I turned to Sophie (my friend) and said, "He's not coming, I'm getting bored, shall we just put some music on instead?" She agreed. We then passed the rest of the afternoon pleasurably chatting and listening to songs.

So, I gave it a go, and seven years on Porn does just as little for me as it did in Hawke senior dayroom. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there is a time and a place in the right company where I could enjoy it, however I don't get why someone would watch it at home alone. But then again I'm not male... which could hold the key to the answer.

Saturday, 9 January 2010

Yesterday was my mums 61st birthday, it's the same day as Elvis Presely and just after the last day of the Xmas season. She usually tries to make a party after the party season is over and last year everyone appreciated it. However this year we just went for a quiet family dinner.

My mum really is a character. A lot of my friends love her and say "I wish my mum was more like yours." I do see where they were coming from, she doesn't give me grief about going out, smoking, partying, ect and never has done, even when I was too young to even do those things. She lets me make my own choices. On the down side however she is loud, embarassing, and always seems to be in"Have you noticed me" mode as she would say.

So, my siblings and I all managed to arrive at the pub and sit ourselves down for late lunch. My sister has two kids, and her friend turned up with her son so there were three terrors running around and ruining anyones idea of a quiet mid afternoon pint.

Nothing interesting really happened at the lunch, we ate, drank, and after everyone went home. My sister was talking about a new guy she likes which made me happy, and she really had gone into obsessive girl analytical mode. Then I started thinking about things. How is it that my mum, at 61 has a young, not neccesarily unnattractive, attentive and keen boyfriend, but her two daughters, 32 and 21 cannot pull a muscle between them? It really sucks. I don't know why but it really seems to me that there are many things wrong with our generation. We spend too much time on sites like facebook, myspace, bebo, and youtube, couple that time with smoking marijuana and friends, and no one gets laid. Really, I am convinced there is a large lack of sex at the moment for young people. However I may be wrong. I'm sure though, that my mum never text her boyfriend, blogged about him, or sent him a facebook message. I think these ways of communicating, which are supposed to enhance your social life actually cripple it.

I'm not entirely sure what the reason for this blog was. But I think it's neccesary to publish it.

Introduction

I am starting a blog for a number of different reasons. I always used to have a diary (at school it was the source of a banana fight) However in 2009 the book I bought didn't get filled in, in fact there were only a few sporadic poems, but nothing like what I used to wite when I was 15 for example. So my 2010 resolution is this blog. Anyways, as of yet I'm not sure of what it is going to be about, I must admit I am drawing upon my friends ideas as I am lacking inspriation on this snowy saturday morning. So do excuse me if I ramble and tangent in a Lawrence Sterne / Virginia Woolf style.

So the name for the blog - Extrovert Interaction. Personally I just think it sounds cool, and it has a sort of see-saw sound when you say it, but not only that, it will hopefully describe this blog, and me aswell. Extrovert is a word that people often misuse. I actually found a definition of it that I found quite interesting, and gave me an idea for a story.

So the other day I went to see my lecturer about an essay I had handed in. It was shit. I flicked through it and read all the depressing comments "this is pure description, no analysis" "You have to do this properly" "This is poor in a number of ways" "I can't believe I am recieving this from a second year student" ect ect ect. I was pretty sad as uni has been going less than smoothly this academic year (although on the plus side I did pass my first year with decent grades and no retakes). But this definition for the word extrovert did actually throw some light onto the situation. I always used to be good at writing essays, but that particular book just didn't inspire me. After I had made up some passable excuses to my lecturer and apologised for my crap work he said to me. "You're such a strong contributor in class, I was expecting something sparkling from you.... (deep sigh) and then I got this." I was thinking about that, and thought my extrovert personality could hold the answer.

Now if you read the full definition for extrovert you will see what I mean, however if you are anything like as lazy as me I don't expect you to. So here's a brief breakdown for you.

"Extroverts like to interact with the external world. Extroverts are energised by being around other people, where as introverts are energised by being alone. Extroverts may "fade" without other people around, and become easily bored."

That is so me. Perhaps thats why the people in class who don't say anything get top marks for their essays. Perhaps that is why when it is only me and my computer I lack inspiration and motivation to write good essays. Perhaps that is why as soon as I have done my essay I don't bother checking it through and run off to find someone to play with. Probably...

I think you may now have a little idea about what I'm like. I wanted to post something humourous I found yesterday when I logged into my bebo account for the first time in about three years. Isn't it funny how people use facebook now and bebo isn't really moving and shaking anymore. Too much time on facebook could also be another contributor to my bad marks at school, but i'll save that for another day. The reason I found my bebo descriptions hilarious is because there is no way in hell i would have put that stuff on facebook, however I'll leave it here for you to gander through. Hope u enjoyed and please comment boys and girls.

Ok in the interest of making this blog as real as possible, I won't edit that top section. I can't paste my Bebo page here. However, if you want to read what i wrote my name on bebo is

"ilikerunningbarefootongravel"

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